Dating after 40
Dating in your 40s doesn’t have to be miserable and complicated. It can actually be really fun and successful! Not sure where to start? Here are some helpful tips for dating in your 40s!
# 1 Dating Happens Online
The dating world is definitely online. It’s always possible to meet people at an activity or through a friend, but more often than not, you will experience some online dating while looking for your next match. Online dating can be both fun and exhausting, but it opens up the possibility of meeting a ton of people and weeding out the ones you have zero interest in really quickly.
Between busy schedules, family obligations, and taking care of yourself, there isn’t a whole lot of time to meet people in-person. If you’re finding it hard to meet other single people, then you should sign up for a dating site where there will be plenty of options. While dating apps targeted at younger people might be more geared toward hooking up, there are dating sites targeted to people who are interested in more than a one-night stand.
# 2 Be Yourself and Go For It
In your 40s, you are more connected to your likes and dislikes, which is a good thing! You don’t have to wait around for people to come knock on your door – you can go after what you want! Find someone attractive? Start a conversation! Falling for someone? Tell them! If you don’t want to play dating games, then don’t play dating games. Be bold and make the first move, or be bold and tell someone how you feel. If they can’t handle your confidence, move on.
# 3 Be Completely and Uniquely You
On a similar note, make sure to stay true to who you are. Don’t think you need to fit into a specific mold in order to find another love in your 40s. In fact, it’s your uniqueness that will attract the person who is right for you. You might feel pressure to look younger, be more casual, be more into hiking, or have certain hobbies, but you don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not. Let your personality shine through so you can stand out from the crowd.
# 4 Physical Attraction is Not a Priority
One of the hardest parts about dating when you’re older is expecting butterflies to happen when you first meet. If you’re looking for super hot chemistry and fluttering butterflies, it most likely won’t happen right away. This isn’t to say you won’t find a match that makes you all hot and sweaty, but it might not be as blatantly obvious as it used to be. That’s okay! Attraction is important, but having a connection is more important. Attraction can grow into super hot chemistry and fluttering butterflies, but it is unlikely to start there. You don’t need to date someone you aren’t even remotely attracted to, but don’t write someone off just because you haven’t melted in your seat.
#5 Don’t Stick to Your Checklist Too Much
Don’t try to compare your dates to your ideal wish list too quickly. It’s important to know what you want, but it is also important to be flexible when you have chemistry with someone. Are you convinced your partner needs a university degree? What happens if you meet someone who has ambition, motivation, and shared values but doesn’t have a university degree?
It’s easy to assume someone isn’t right for you the moment they don’t check off one of your pre-determined boxes. You should not settle for someone if they aren’t what you are looking for, but sometimes it can be beneficial to go off script.
#6 What Are You Looking For?
On that note, it is important to reassess your checklist if it has been a while since you’ve sat down and figured out what you really value in a partner. In your 40s, you should not have the same checklist that you had in your 20s or even your 30s. You’ve grown as a person and have been through a ton more life experiences, so your ideal checklist should match that. Your values will have changed so make sure the traits you are looking for are compatible with your current values. If you’re not sure, take some time to get to know yourself before jumping into serious dating.
# 7 The Topic of Children
Whether or not you have kids, you are bound to come across other single people that have kids. It is up to you how you handle revealing you have children (if you do), but it is important to consider ahead of time how you will handle someone revealing they have children. If you’re adamantly against children, you should be upfront about this early on. If you’re looking for someone that has children, that’s totally okay too! Blended families have become the norm, so expect the topic of children to be brought up and plan ahead for the conversation.
The biggest tip for dating, at any age, is to make sure it is fun! If dating starts getting exhausting, take a break and spend time taking care of yourself. Keep it fun and enjoy the experience of dating after 40!
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