How to embrace your saggy skin during sex
In what is probably the most awesome recent piece of social media news, Chidera Eggerue, a 23 year old blogger, has been challenging mainstream standards of beauty by embracing her natural breasts and their naturally saggy nature.
To quote the empowering blogger directly (who has launched her campaign under the #saggyboobsmatter hashtag):
‘I became bored of disliking myself, tired of finding a reason to condemn myself, and I grew exhausted of avoiding certain outfits that would reveal the posture of my boobs.’
Eggerue’s breasts were something she used to hate and even considered changing from a very young age, but she gradually came to realise that hating her body at such a young age was not productive to her personal wellbeing.
More importantly, Eggerue noticed that the problem at hand wasn’t to do with her own saggy breasts but, rather, was about the representation of bodies in the media and the message of beauty that it tries to impose upon others. And, when it comes to saggy bodies, that’s something to be confronted and defied.
‘Saggy’ Breasts and Bodies
When you think about it, the notion of skin being saggy in any way is never really acknowledged and, when it is, it’s usually in a negative manner.
For example, the idea of breasts sagging is often a vilified one, hence the need for Eggerue’s presence and her initial personal insecurities. People with certain breasts are encouraged to use bras or (even more drastically) surgery to rectify the sag in their bodies, as if bodies sagging were not a natural or acceptable aspect of one’s self.
But there are many things that can make bodies sag and most individuals have at least some element of saggy skin, or will have so at some point.
Sag is, in fact, inevitable, as if comes naturally with age and the impact of gravity and the changes bodies go through with time. Experiences such as childbirth can also cause skin to sag, as can weight loss after a prolonged period at a certain size. Additionally, some people are just genetically inclined to have skin that doesn’t have a perfect appearance and, in all of these instances, that’s absolutely fine.
Bodies are beautiful and – notably – have value beyond beauty too. Sag ‘n all.
Sag and Sex
That being said, the insecurity fostered in society over sagging skin can cause insecurities when it comes to sex and sexiness.
For anyone with such struggles there are many things that can (and should) be done to help foster a sense of self-worth and acceptance that every human being is deserving of.
One step might be to take the steps that Eggerue herself did in confronting one’s own sag, coming to a reconciliation with it, and then deciding to rock your body with an eye towards self and sexual empowerment.
Eggerue practiced this through wearing clothes she wanted to wear, regardless of whether or not she would match the expected standards of beauty when wearing them.
This can definitely work for many (and we actively encourage it) but, if you are feeling tentative at first, then buying clothing that you first feel a little more comfortable with might be the first step towards bolder actions.
Challenge your comfort zone by buying a sexy outfit for yourself that, although not completely revealing, you know you would usually avoid due to how your skin looks. The wear it. Exist in it. Notice how you feel.
The feelings may not be all positive at first but that’s fine – such practices are about allowing you the space to exist in sexy outfits with your body, not necessarily to feel immediately comfortable with that space.
Over time start striking poses while in such clothing, taking photos of yourself, or even wearing it before (or during) sexual activity. Over time you will likely find that wearing this sex-specific outfit starts to have the positive and empowering effect that you’re hoping it will and that you will begin to feel in your own sexual confidence.
Beyond this, you might also practice finding ways to love your sag by considering the pros of it, or the ways that it speaks of your own unique story or sexual allure. Saggy breasts jiggle and flail delightfully during vigorous sex, whereas saggy stomach can give great grip for rough and dominating doggy style (trust the author here: she has lived experience).
Being playful with one’s saggy features is also a great way to start seeing them more as a sexual asset rather than a hindrance or an unattractive element. For example – hiding sexy messages under loose folds and revealing them (or having them discovered) during foreplay.
Saggy skin is typically also slightly less sensitive too, which offers itself to some rather extreme and striking looking BDSM activities without feeling too painful in practice.
There are also a few practical considerations that some people might take with saggy skin (such as using body lotion or oils on it) which can easily be given a sexy or self-caring element.
If you do, for some reason, need to apply oils or lotions to your sag then why not make that part of your play routine? Get a sub to do it, or a loving partner after a long day at the office. Heck! Do it yourself but with a new, slower deliberation and a nurturing internal narrative which allows a more loving approach to your own body.
After all, we only get one body so we might as well offer it all the love and sexual liberation that we would wish for others we care about.
Saggy skin is not the social ideal but it doesn’t have to be and that’s okay.
Sexiness is not something that we are barred entry to based on how we look: It’s something we inherently possess and can lay claim to at any point.
Although one might struggle with their body at certain times it is always possible to identify the toxic relationship we have fostered with our own bodies and to redress that relationship with more love and sexual forgiveness.
Never be your digest detractor. There’s to much fun to be had in the bedroom for that.