How to talk dirty
Dirty talk before, during, or after sex can be a huge turn on. It might be intimidating at first, but once you get the hang of it, it can have a powerful effect over the body and the mind, so let’s talk dirty!
Dirty talk not only does it engage your imagination, it can be a great tool to distract your brain from the millions of thoughts that happen at every moment. If you have a really busy brain, enjoying some dirty talk during the deed can help you pay attention to the present moment. Dirty talk can intensify the moment so why not give it a try? Here’s how.
How to Dirty Talk:
#1. Make Sure Everyone is On Board
Not everyone enjoys erotic talking, so make sure to do a quick check-in with your partner(s) before trying to incorporate it. Everyone has different preference, or might feel awkward about it, so it is, as usual, important to talk about it!
Another good idea is to check if there are any words that might turn off your partner(s). Some people love certain sexual words or profanities while others have words that cause instant repulsion. It’s best to avoid those negative responses so find out what words your partner doesn’t like. Of course, inform your partner(s) if any words are off-limits.
# 2. Know There Are Different Ways to Have Dirty Talk
There is not just one single way to start talking erotically. You can tease your partner about something you plan on doing, you can share fantasies, you can reminisce about past sexual moments, you can describe the current moment, or any other variation that feels good for you.
It doesn’t have to be a sexy, sultry voice and it doesn’t have to be super serious. It can be light-hearted and filled with laughter, or it can be filled with hints of domination. Play around with it until you get something that feels right for everyone involved.
#3. There Are a Few Rules
There aren’t many rules to actual dirty talking, but there are a few. Make sure to respect your partner(s) boundaries while talking. It’s possible they are okay talking about different fetishes they would never actually be comfortable trying, but this is something that needs to be discussed beforehand. Don’t bring up fetishes your partner has already said “no” to trying, and don’t bring up new fetishes or fantasies you have not yet talked about. Conversations about fetishes and fantasies should not come up for the first time while you are actively having sex.
#4. It’s Okay to Feel Awkward
If you’ve never talked dirty before, you might feel awkward – and that is okay! It’s all about breaking the ice and learning what works. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself if you say something that doesn’t sound as sexy as you had intended. If your partner(s) says something awkward, make sure you’re laughing with them and not at them. Trying something new can be a bit uncomfortable but that is totally normal, just push through it or try it again another time.
If you feel awkward saying it out loud, you can always practice by text message! Or better yet, write each other sexy love notes that are truly filthy and take those as a starting point.
#5. Keep It Simple At First
You don’t need to be writing an erotic novel! Keep your dirty talk really simple, especially at the start. Talk about what feels good with sentences like: “You make me really wet,” “Do more of that with your hand” or “I like when you use your tongue that way.” If that feels like too much, start even simpler with sentences like “This feels really good” or “Go harder.”
Talking about what you are enjoying is a huge turn on in itself, and a great place to start your dirty talk adventures. Quite simply, describe what you’re enjoying.
#6. Get Descriptive
When you’re ready, start getting more descriptive. Turn sentences like “I really like that” into sentences like “I really like when you run your mouth all the way down my body until your lips are caressing me and I can feel your breath while you lick me.” The more description the better! This way, you can really get into the moment.
By being super descriptive, it also helps direct your partner towards what you are really, truly enjoying – so it’s a win-win for you!
#7. Check In With Each Other
After trying something new in the bedroom, always make sure to check in with each other. See how it went!
Did it feel okay? Was there anything cringe-worthy that you wouldn’t want to repeat? Is there something you wish your partner or yourself had done? It’s really good to talk about these things so that the next time you engage in dirty talk it is even better!
Even though it is called “dirty talk,” remember there is nothing dirty about what you are doing! Sex should be fun and pleasurable, and talking erotically should add to that dynamic.
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