Your first time with a woman
The first time you have sex with another woman can seem a bit intimidating. It might be the first time you have sex ever, or it might be the first time you are having sex with someone that is not a man. Even if it is not your first time having sex, it can still feel like it.
We have some tips to help guide you through your first time having sex with another woman.
1. Read Everything You Can
Research, research, research! Just like you are doing right now, you should read as much as possible about the topic. However, make sure to pick which sites and books you are reading. Make sure they are LGBT+ focused and not just articles written by men for men about women’s pleasure. Also, if you want to skip the reading, check out some feminist porn sites (ahem, like Dusk’s How To’s ) to get a sense of what to do. You can check out Jessica Drake’s Woman to Woman, for romance in bed, or together in the shower, or at hot other places, and enjoying toys together. Our check out our Girl-Girl section in our Cum On Demand.
2. Practice with Masturbation
Every woman is different and every woman will enjoy different things, but it is important to get comfortable with your own genitals and your own pleasure points. Discovering your own body will help you discover someone else’s body, especially if you are comfortable with exploring that part of the body. Knowing what you like will also help you guide your partner towards your likes and away from your dislikes.
3. Ask for Guidance
Do not be afraid to ask your partner what she likes. Some women do not like penetration at all, some need clitoral and vaginal stimulation at the same time, some prefer anal play, and there can be an infinite number of combinations of likes and dislikes. There is absolutely no way that you can guess what your partner enjoys. Of course, you can respond according to their pleasure signs, but the most sure-fire way of pleasing your partner is asking them what pleasures them. It is not embarrassing to ask them what they want because it is actually really hot to put your partner’s desires first. Communication is key!
4. Sensitivities Can Change
If your partner has a menstrual cycle, then chances are their sensitivities will change throughout that cycle. Sometimes they might like it rough, whereas sometimes it might be too much to handle. Respond to their pleasure signs (moans, gasps, back arches, etc.) and ask them if they are okay or if they would prefer you do it another way.
5. More Than Just Penetration
Sex between any two people is way more than just penetration and this continues to be true for sex between two women. Do not forget to be sensual with the rest of your partner’s body. This can mean anything from their earlobes, to their breasts, to their clitoris, to their toes. Pleasure points are all over the body and you should both have some fun discovering them on each other. Some people do not even enjoy any penetration so make sure to ask your partner if penetration is okay before inserting any fingers, tongues, or toys.
6. Orgasms Are Not Guaranteed
You should not be measuring success against the rate of orgasms because orgasms are not guaranteed – and they do not even have to be the centre of attention. In fact, sex can be more fun when you stop putting pressure on achieving orgasms. Getting rid of that pressure can be incredibly liberating by letting you enjoy the moment more than focus on a goal. It is totally okay if you or your partner (or both) do not orgasm, especially the first time you are getting to know each other intimately. A lack of orgasm is not inherently a bad thing so do not be disappointed if it does not happen.
7. Safe Sex is Still Essential
It might not have been taught during any sex education class but safe sex is still just as important for same-sex sexual activities. While the risk of pregnancy is removed, there is still a risk of STIs. Whenever there are bodily fluids involved, there is a risk of transferring diseases. In order to protect yourself, you can use dental dams and latex (or similar) gloves. You should also get regularly tested if there is any risk at all. Safe sex is sexy so arrive prepared.
8. No One Is Expecting an Expert
The first time you try anything in life, you will not be an expert so it is okay that you are not an expert at having sex with another woman on your first try. Not only does sex take practice, but everyone has different pleasure preferences as well as different physical chemistry. You can do the exact same thing for two different people and be the worst at it and the best at it, depending on your chemistry and the person’s preferences. It is totally okay if the first time you have sex with a woman is not quite like your wildest dreams. It will get there.
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Header Image: Delilahs Top Tips: Jess West & Danielle Ashlea Maye